Okay, since I experienced a life-changing experience approximately 2 years back, I decided not to get attached to a person or a group. (But when I think about it, I don’t think I EVER get attached with anybody. Not since I was kid.)

But after that “life-changing” experience only I notice it. And I that get attached to boyfriends.

So, anyway, a lot of people always tell me that I’m always there for them. For a shoulder to cry on, for someone to hang out with, to laugh with, to share problems with. They tell me I’m nice, that I’m a good friend.

See, I’ve thought about this, long and hard. What makes them think I’m a good friend? Then it hit me, it’s probably because I don’t get attached to them. As in, I don’t expect them to do anything for me. I remembered these people have told me that if I needed anything, all I need to do is just call. But I very rarely did.

It’s not that I don’t like to tell them my feelings, but I only tell them when I feel like it. And most of the time I don’t. Unless the feeling is overwhelming, like now.

If you think I’m a lone ranger, I’m not. I have loads of groups of friends. but most of the time I keep them at that only. A group of friends.

There was a time in my life where I was attached to almost everyone. I had a so many friends, my “clique” at college. Then it happened.

I hit rock bottom. Lost everything that meant SO much to me. I remembered that feeling. It’s as if I don’t feel anything. I only do things that I HAD to do - eat, work, sleep. I don’t hang out, I don’t chat, I hardly laugh, I stayed in my room most of the time.

I had other friends waiting for me to come out, waiting for me to come back, but I felt like none of them mattered.

It never went back to what it was before, so I decided to wallow it up and move on. It was like going to primary school all over again, meeting new people, feeling awkward at meeting new people.

I made friends with people with who grew up together, who went through thick and thin together. I don’t know what the moral is, but even if I did hang out with them, I keep in mind that they’re still friends of a friend. I didn’t try to be close friends with them, I didn’t try to be in their group, I was just glad I had people to hang out with.

I was glad that I don’t have to miss someone.

But the more I look at these people, the more I began to wonder, will I ever have something like this? (I kept on changing schools when I was younger, so I never knew anyone for more that 15 years)

I’m looking for that time I had back then, but my head was telling me “Don’t you dare!”

But now that most of these people are away, I realise that they’re it. I don’t have to feel like I belong. They already accept me, they helped me out when I needed them, so what the hell am I doing looking for something that’s gone when something BETTER is in front of me?

And it took me YEARS to realize that? WTF? *slaps head!*

To my idiot and my lalang, I FUCKING MISS YOU GUYS, JUST COME BACK HOME! I don’t like missing you guyssssssssssssssssss zzzzzzzzzz *CRIES*

P/S : I guess I’m starting to get attached again. I hope nothing goes wrong this time.

My friend, Nizam. This is usually how our conversation goes. But most of the time he just spams then sign out.

Why do I put up with him?

Layout baru to make up for the days that I ignored this blog. Details of the layout is at the sidebar –>

So, today is Earth Hour day. I spent my time at Carrefour Subang. Niat masa nak pergi tu baik, nak teman Ayu beli fridge and teman Syam tengok product packagings. Tapi sebab ada Bing (pengkhianat masyarakat), we ended up drinking and eating free food/drinks sample. Pusing Carrefour and curi makanan banyak-banyak. 

Esok nak pergi Giant Seksyen 13 pula, Syam kata ada banyak sample esok. What a bunch of free loaders. So we spent about an hour going around from booth to booth. And the next hour kitorang stop by kat toy department.

Main tekan-tekan patung Transformers (ada suara), main tembak-tembak, main gasing Doraemon, main bulldozer, main Deal or No Deal elektronik, dan macam-macam lagi lah. 

Pastu Adek beli Playdoh. Pastu pergi tunggu Pow depan Amcorp Mall. Masa tunggu Pow, masing-masing show off skill sculpting dengan Playdoh. Ayu je yang tak mampu nak come up dengan apa-apa. Kesian.

Then pergi Dang Wangi, nak makan nasi lemak, tapi tutup.. Pastu nak gi makan tandoori.. Tandoori habis.. 
Bukan nasib kita.. Itu la akibat dia tamak sangat makan sample makanan banyak-banyak kot.

Hari ini :

Valentine’s Day. Apa aku buat? Nothing. Sebab hari ini ramai sangat orang nak gi keluar makan. 

So aku, Syam, Pow, Bing, Laloq, Sally, Adik, Ayu dan Aie pergi lepak. Ramai kan? Then suddenly datang idea untuk pergi karaoke. So Pow book bilik kat Musicbox, tingkat 25, Quality Hotel, pukul 12.

Nyanyi nyanyi nyanyi, Arip sampai. Nyanyi nyanyi nyanyi lagi, kena balik, sebab cakap kat Mama balik kul 1. =.=

Semalam :

Pergi dinner kat Fullhouse Cafe dengan Khai, Aizyl, Kide, Chee Ling, Wei Bin dengan Sue Jane kat Ara Damansara. 

Food dia so-so, tapi theme tempat tu agak menarik. White picket fences, rich green carpet, nampak macam cafe in some garden. About an hour later, Chau Ching dengan Elian sampai.

Ada gambar, tapi nanti la post. Penat seh nyanyi.

Hari ini, saya pergi pancing udang kat Meru. Ada Syam, Pow, Bing, Aie dan saya. Below is a sketch of me having fun, represented by a mysterious boxed figure :

Saja tak letak orang-orang lain sebab aku nak korang focus kat aku sahaja.

Memandangkan ini first time aku, so banyak la udang yang dapat makan umpan free.
Hasil tangkapan : 1 - Syam, 3 - aku, 2 yang terlepas - owner kolam tu tolong tangkapkan. So 6 aku punya.

Pow dengan Bing lebih 6 ekor, Aie 5 ekor. Pastu in the end campurkan semua sekali, bahagi 4. Masing-masing dapat 300g udang.

Lain kali nak pergi lagi.