“TAK NAK!!!!!!!!!!!”

I dreamt that college was starting the next week.

So now, almost 2 weeks passed, and college IS STARTING NEXT WEEK! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

I’ve just had 3 days of my semester break to enjoy because I’ve been doing some work, and I’m in Bangsar, so really, I AM NOT ENJOYING IT! I feel like my youth is passing me by!!!  dsjadlasjdkasjdkljaskdjkajdklas *face roll!!!!*

I am really stressed out and kinda pissed off at I don’t know what. Probably MMU for their sick scheduling, or probably at time for going by too fast. But both of it are really out of league to control (especially time), so I guess I blame myself for not paying attention.

NO! I’M NOT AT MYSELF! dshgajdhjalsjdklasd;akld;jkasdkjsadklasjd;a/

I want to whine now.
I don’t wanna go back to school PLEASEEEEE. I’m already making money WITHOUT having to finish it, so can I just skip school?? I don’t like the classmates, they’re WAY too immature, and I don’t like them! They give me dirty looks, what the hell do you want, kids? You think you have about 40 people giving me looks, so I’m scared of you? Tsk, you guys are like cockroaches, and I hate cockroaches! Stinking, dirty kids staying in clumps. And the rest of you direct intakes! (They’re not kids, they’re about my age), you guys were treated like that as well, SO WHY ARE YOU GIVING ME THOSE LOOKS? FUCKTARDS! Coming over and talking to me only when you need something out of me! Well, guess what? You guys are fakes, and I thought only girls like to that! I tried to make friends with you guys (I don’t bother with the “official” intake, they’re puny), trying to socialize with you guys outside of college, BUT TO HELL WITH YOU GUYS.

AND ALL THE BEST LECTURERS ARE GONE! All I’m left with are fresh grad tutors with nothing reliable for the students! hdjashdjaskjdlal

BENCI NYA!

But after that “life-changing” experience only I notice it. And I that get attached to boyfriends.

So, anyway, a lot of people always tell me that I’m always there for them. For a shoulder to cry on, for someone to hang out with, to laugh with, to share problems with. They tell me I’m nice, that I’m a good friend.

See, I’ve thought about this, long and hard. What makes them think I’m a good friend? Then it hit me, it’s probably because I don’t get attached to them. As in, I don’t expect them to do anything for me. I remembered these people have told me that if I needed anything, all I need to do is just call. But I very rarely did.

It’s not that I don’t like to tell them my feelings, but I only tell them when I feel like it. And most of the time I don’t. Unless the feeling is overwhelming, like now.

If you think I’m a lone ranger, I’m not. I have loads of groups of friends. but most of the time I keep them at that only. A group of friends.

There was a time in my life where I was attached to almost everyone. I had a so many friends, my “clique” at college. Then it happened.

I hit rock bottom. Lost everything that meant SO much to me. I remembered that feeling. It’s as if I don’t feel anything. I only do things that I HAD to do - eat, work, sleep. I don’t hang out, I don’t chat, I hardly laugh, I stayed in my room most of the time.

I had other friends waiting for me to come out, waiting for me to come back, but I felt like none of them mattered.

It never went back to what it was before, so I decided to wallow it up and move on. It was like going to primary school all over again, meeting new people, feeling awkward at meeting new people.

I made friends with people with who grew up together, who went through thick and thin together. I don’t know what the moral is, but even if I did hang out with them, I keep in mind that they’re still friends of a friend. I didn’t try to be close friends with them, I didn’t try to be in their group, I was just glad I had people to hang out with.

I was glad that I don’t have to miss someone.

But the more I look at these people, the more I began to wonder, will I ever have something like this? (I kept on changing schools when I was younger, so I never knew anyone for more that 15 years)

I’m looking for that time I had back then, but my head was telling me “Don’t you dare!”

But now that most of these people are away, I realise that they’re it. I don’t have to feel like I belong. They already accept me, they helped me out when I needed them, so what the hell am I doing looking for something that’s gone when something BETTER is in front of me?

And it took me YEARS to realize that? WTF? *slaps head!*

To my idiot and my lalang, I FUCKING MISS YOU GUYS, JUST COME BACK HOME! I don’t like missing you guyssssssssssssssssss zzzzzzzzzz *CRIES*

P/S : I guess I’m starting to get attached again. I hope nothing goes wrong this time.

My friend, Nizam. This is usually how our conversation goes. But most of the time he just spams then sign out.

Why do I put up with him?

I’ve been reading random blogs, and along the way (baru tadi) I realised that I have a blog. Oh well, I was never the kind of person to blog in the first place. Wait, I used to be a frequent “blogger” but that was back then when my mom tied me up in chains and won’t let me out the house.

And now that I’ve experienced freedom, there’s just too much to talk about that I can’t be bothered to type it out. (Not like any other bothered to read about my day anyway, except, of course, one lonesome guy who I call Bongok. That means you, Fad)

As you might not have noticed, I had my birthday on 30th June. I kinda like this birthday although I didn’t celebrate it (never did), because I got prezzies and money to buy prezzies for myself! Weee!

So let’s see.. I’ve got myself

1. a camera (Lumix, 12.1 MP, RM 629 because I was so damned lucky to run into a Sen Heng clearance sale), from my aunt
2. a Guess handbag (second hand, brought from a shopaholic friend who used it 2-3 times)
3. 5 clothes (2 T-shirts, 1 spaghetti, 1 dress, 1 cardigan)
4. a Guess Daredevil skinny jeans from my mom
5. a few other unused hand-me-downs from my mom (make ups)
6. 2 new heels (from Nose and Blay)

Awesomeness.

READ! ]]> http://chaq.omgwtfwei.com/?feed=rss2&p=169 http://chaq.omgwtfwei.com/?p=149 http://chaq.omgwtfwei.com/?p=149#comments Sun, 17 May 2009 10:15:37 +0000 Dayana http://chaq.omgwtfwei.com/?p=149 You know how people would describe a person grinning weirdly as “senyum kambing”? 
Eg : “Kau apahal senyum-senyum kambing kat aku?”

I was never actually able to identify which is the proper use of “senyum kambing” on a human face.

Then a goat taught me :

Style dowh. 

Semalam aku ikut Syam and his officemates pergi ladang kambing boss dia kat Bentong, Pahang. Rally beb naik bukit. Nasib baik tak naik kereta aku. 


 

2 ekor anak kambing yang manja. 


 

After that pergi mandi air terjun, can’t remember where, sebab ada extra passenger in the car and I was busy entertaining the child. Banyak cakap budak tu.

Then ada rempit-rempit BASUH motor kat situ. And ada yang naik motor INSIDE the pool. Can you imagine? There’s kids running around in there, and there are families. They really don’t care about other people’s safety and respecting elders, do they? 

Potong gila.

But putting those idiots aside, I had fun, although i had to hang out with ladies and gentlemen who are 10-20 years older than me =.= 

Took pictures using handphone. Tu la, camera ada, tak nak bawa.

All these sounds come to mind when I found out that YOU WERE WRONG! 

Sambil aku tengah buat kerja, tengah layan lagu Goldfinger, terdengarlah bunyi yang makin lama makin kuat…

Syam berdengkur. 

Snoring is caused when your sleeping position is not proper, and you are forced to breathe through your nose. 
So, out of courtesy of sleeping comfortably, but mainly sebab nak dengar lagu tanpa diganggu, aku pun tepuk-tepuk muka Syam suruh berhenti berdengkur.

Dia tukar posisi.

syam : Hmghhgghmph mhp (mulut kena tutup dengan bantal)
aku : Apadia? (alihkan bantal)
syam : hdjashdjk tu cepat (make sense sket ah)
aku : Apa? Siapkan kerja I cepat?
syam : (irritated sebab aku tak paham) Check tayar kereta tu cepat!

(sambung tidur)

 
Wtf?

I didn’t know having ants in your keyboard is weird.  Bohoo

Hey, Asians tak lembik, ok?

Even though aku tak pernah tengok sebelum ini, tapi aku rasa macam best haha. Kesian Kaz kena explain kat aku relationship characters movie tu.

And nasib baik Kaz tak ter-influenced with the movie. Elok dia bawa kereta semalam. Tak macam sakai-sakai lain yang nak merempit dengan kereta sampan diorang. Proton Saga = kereta muscle Malaysia?

Shit.

Work in progress aku, walaupun rasa macam malas nak continue sebab tak reti nak buat rambut :